(10-04-2016, 07:31 PM)Fire And Ice Wrote: [...]
So I am curious what wonderful people here think or have to say.
[...]
Sincerely,
Fire
Well, I'll answer anyway. ;-)
My thoughts are, (1) YOLO, (2) the wife can deal (with a temporary loss of fuzziness so you can spend some time as you, away from home where no one will recognize you anyway, so no embarrassment to her), and quite bluntly, if she' the type who is a fan of "Eat Pray Love" and other such stuff? You're doing the same thing, she should be a fan.
That is predicated on it being more of a temporary thing, though, for the makeover on a trip.
Now, definitely, you'll want to find a group out there to meet with. I'd suggest googling for a Munch (BDSM group lunch, not scene - just say hi, engage socially); or, a CD/TV/TG group in the area. Maybe both - might benefit from cross-connections or just from "more people." Maybe swingers or such, but I don't know enough about that lifestyle to suggest groups, or if they have them...
Now, that's where it'll start to be a long-term thing, and the first points may need to be adjusted. I'd suggest you START with transition in mind, when it comes to planning. You've said you don't want to, and I understand that, but start with the end goal so that you can feel things out and maintain control of the process. And you'll also be set to handle the wife, which will definitely be a big deal.
Mine likes the chin lettuce, too. I want to dig the follicles out and have them cemented to my receded temples. ;-)
I think mine wants the chin fuzzies so she can see me as MASCULINE. (This from a woman who won't wear skirts because she's too heavy. But I digress...) She needs to see you as the MAN pole in the relationship, I'm guessing; the whiskers are probably part of that. Which makes the whole vacation/makeover more important, and then finding another outlet (CD/TV/TG group) - while important - can be lessened, perhaps. Or, you could find one that won't worry about your facial fur. Some people CANNOT shave it off, so a drag club, CD/TV/* group might allow the socialization without the feminization.
And as I understand, a Tri-Ess type group will often have things for the SOs. So she would have her support group at the same time, maybe you'll make "normal" friends, too. Have dinners as couples, say, and meet at the events, as well. Also a reason to include the social side of the BDSM group(s), maybe.
So, you're planning for the worst, figuring out how to break the news in X months/years when you don't have a choice. If you decide not to proceed, you haven't burned any bridges. She likely won't know. (Whereas, mine has known for years and still wants the feminine aspects I have, PLUS overwhelming MANLY-man attitudes, and the two - for me at least - are diametrically opposed.) If yours sees things changing and likes, you can still have lots of time to talk. If YOU find it's something you cannot give up - E.G., that joke, "What's the difference between a TV and a TS?" "Answer: 6 months." - Well, you'll still be ahead of it, and you can make things work, or negotiate, or at least know what's happening. Don't go running in, of course, but you've already been planning the worst if it happens. So you've got things in a state where she and you can both be taken care of, essentially.
And if the groups are enough?
No worries, right?
Let's frame it a little differently, though: How many sets of silicon breasts have you gone through...? Attachable? ;-)
Only did enhancers myself, always was a bit chesty...
But I keep eyeing the DDD forms, you know? Especially the attachable ones - I want to know the heft, have it move like it's part of me.
I think you're in similar situation, but how far do you want to go? In my mind, I want to be an 18-year-old sexpot, and well.... I'm 40, so ain't happening. But I could come far closer...
You seem to have a different endgame in mind, so a makeover is reasonable, and then you might decide to stay clean shaven anyway. Even if you drop the rest.
But I'd suggest you look at yourself carefully, not critically, in the mirror, and see who's looking back. I'm dissociated a bit: the person looking back is ME, I know it, but I don't feel anything looking at that reflection, except maybe that intellectual "that's what I look like." "Wish I looked like a woman!" echoes from time to time... Usually I'm too busy getting out the door to care.
See if you're in the same position - it might tell you how much risk you face there, WRT transition wants.
I'd suggest "My ladybird story" on Amazon Kindle for more examples. Should be a cheap thing, and a few hours read at most. But the protagonist had the same sort of issue / dissociation from self. He didn't like the image he saw, and he knew that the reflection was him, but it wasn't "his self." It was just a reflection. Like seeing fish in the water, except that at one point near puberty, he happened to experiment, and when he pushed his genitals back, THAT was when the mirror looked "right."
We might not have a violent a reaction, but we should be sure of where our head is at up front. Hence, always plan for the worst, and get the gears turning. In this case, you plan for transition and divorce, and probably never get close.
But if you don't do the planning? You'll perhaps find none of the discussions planned, none of the finances in order, she'll have the wrong ideas, you won't have a firm grasp of things yourself. Then you'll both end up
REacting instead of
Acting.
I hope my long-winded response hasn't been too much. :-)
-Dianna
I wish mine was, but every time I send my feelers out to gage her reaction, it is never good. Cest la vie. On the plus side, her and I are about the same as far as clothing size, truth be told, I am probably a few sizes smaller than her now 
, so I do have a plethora of clothing options. 
Ha Ha Ha, bad bad me. 
