24-02-2014, 11:43 PM
(This post was last modified: 25-02-2014, 02:04 AM by Samantha Rogers.)
Ah, Clara, you, bless your heart, hit on exactly where I was trying to go.(where you been, sister?)
I find that it is really hard to look in a mirror when I get out of the shower and see an older male body looking back. Shaving, growing breasts and the other feminizing aspects have made this so much easier the last few years, which I think fits in perfectly with the entire GD diagnosis...trying to express femininity somehow, to quiet the anxiety.
I started actually dressing years ago when alone in hotel rooms on business trips. The large mirrors in those rooms intensified the anxiety until I found ways to alter the image looking back at me.
So, vanity, per se, was perhaps the wrong word to use. Appearance might have been better. I used to think it was just a fetish, but, especially in light of my missing libido and yet continued desire to continue feminizing, I now know it to be something beyond that.
Or maybe I'm just nuts...
LOL
Hugs
I find that it is really hard to look in a mirror when I get out of the shower and see an older male body looking back. Shaving, growing breasts and the other feminizing aspects have made this so much easier the last few years, which I think fits in perfectly with the entire GD diagnosis...trying to express femininity somehow, to quiet the anxiety.
I started actually dressing years ago when alone in hotel rooms on business trips. The large mirrors in those rooms intensified the anxiety until I found ways to alter the image looking back at me.
So, vanity, per se, was perhaps the wrong word to use. Appearance might have been better. I used to think it was just a fetish, but, especially in light of my missing libido and yet continued desire to continue feminizing, I now know it to be something beyond that.
Or maybe I'm just nuts...
LOL
Hugs