31-03-2011, 06:09 PM
(This post was last modified: 31-03-2011, 06:10 PM by EmilyAngelina.)
I've been taking herbal hormones for a little over a year and a half (with breaks every so often). but I need to actually go a little bit before that to say what I want to say.
[writers note if you want to get straight to the point I will do an out line at the end of the major points so you can skip the /*rambling*/ if you really want to.]
/*
I always knew that I didn't fit in with societal standards for either gender, but I tried anyway (no I am not going to give yet another TS story). Fast forward to college where I met back up with my now girlfriend of 5 years, we've actually known each other for almost our entire lives but that is beside the point of bringing here up, and about a few months into our relationship I took a human sexuality class. One of the topics that is typically gone over in that class is gender, and the teacher had both sides of the TS spectrum (MTF, FTM) come in to the class, and speak on what it meant for them to be TS. I actually could relate parts of my learning and understanding of life to both of their stories, and so I gently brought the topic up to my girlfriend who actually was quite supportive of me (mainly at the time she said that it was because she was bi- but we both now know a little better then that now) on the topic, as long as I didn't go blindly jumping head first into a major change.
That is when I started doing research on the topic of what it all entailed beyond what the class taught on the topic. I ended up with about a few dozen books directly related to the topic, and few real answers that relate to me directly, as I knew that I still wasn't like many of the stories in the books, and I also felt really offended/disgusted when it came to the concept of changing genitalia. So I did even more reading and stumbled on first a book titled “the lazy crossdresser” and then a blog that is no longer operational http://malebreastenlargement.blogspot.com/ (the link no longer goes there sorry, just siting source) and I realized that I wanted breasts .
But my girlfriend actually convinced me of something that in hindsight was really good advice (based somewhat on the “Harry Benjamin … Standards of Care”, and I wanted her to read on the subject what she felt comfortable with) of 'if you want to grow your own permanent breast then at least spend some time in the world with them to see if people can accept you with them, and to see that it is really what you want.” and it just so happened that we were going to take a post college graduation trip to Oregon to a convention and so I was going to try at that point, and sense I knew that I really didn't want to be a complete women I just got a hold of some breast forms (size B as that is the size that in my mind I would have been happy with) and an appropriate bra for them. When I tried it on at home instead of feeling nervous like I had expected I instead felt almost “whole” inside, but I quickly realized while trying some of my shirts on (I never cared for the skin tight look, and always liked kind of loose fits) that there was no way I could hide the breasts if I ever had that size (surprisingly enough just the next day "Hiding Your Breasts When They Get Big Enough to Notice" was put up on http://malebreastenlargement.blogspot.com/ (again does not exist, but upon request, and assuming that a moderator does not message me other wise I will be willing to post a copy of the article that I have saved on my hard-drive), and went with the jacket (coat) option, but I quickly realized that those that did notice didn't really care. Accept a few that I will apologize to in advance the extremely religious as once they realized that I had a beard shadow and breasts tried to interrogate me on morality of going against god's design a few I told that it was a glandular issue and then seemed to apologize. Others who got really high and mighty I told that “it was my choice and that if god really had an issue with it, it should strike me down here, and now” of course nothing happened and they walked away. At the end of the convention I talked with my girlfriend and asked if that was proof enough but instead she still wanted me to continue trying it out. So when I got back home I was already planning to attend another school and decided that that would be a great place to try out daily breast where, and when I did no one cared either way, and after a year my girlfriend finally said that I could go ahead with starting the herbs.
But, not every one has been accepting of a “male” with breasts right away, if not just not caring at all. Some I have had to talk to for some considerable amount of time to get to understand, and others still think that I am sick/crazy/going through a phase/being forced/need extensive psychological work/and my favorite of all) going straight to hell before death (yes, they went there). Again apologize in advance as not all are as follows, but for the most part I have only ever had “issues” with people over the age of 45, or those razed with hardline religious beliefs I still tell them that “if god really has an issue with it then it will be between me and it when I have to be judged, if god even exists of course”
*/
the facts of TS/TG/CD these are things that I have witnessed first had if not had happen to me and lived:
I will not call it gosspal at all but “Harry Benjamin … Standards of Care” probably had something going when they said try it out first to see if you will be comfortable with it as a permanent thing (while I was researching herbal options, I tried different breast sizes in terms of forms/inserts and found the range of growth that I would be happy attaining and that overshooting a little would be okay too)
do your homework before making drastic permanent changes to your body, and know the side effects before taking anything. (I went through 3 different herbal products before finding one I was not allergic to, and works)
realize that if you need to hide your breast for some reason or another (with for warning of course) know you have options, kinda.
If people figure you out, you better both be ready to defend yourself morally/emotionally/(hopefully not but also)physically
there are ignorant people out there that may try to hurt you if they find out that that person in the dress is actually a man, or that, that guy over there has breasts. In these cases crowds are good if they do not all share the same demographic (if you are surrounded by red-necks and someone figures you out be ready for a fight, and not a fare one either), I am not saying be completely paranoid, but know your escape routs, figure out how many of them you stand a chance against before you “have” to run, and remember just because they are law enforcement they shouldn't but can ignore your pleas for assistance (so know the laws of your area as what constitutes a hate crime because if a law officer does not respond to those words they are to be held more responsible then the perpetrators[at least in the US])
if you can travel in any kind of group even a second person standing near you, and talking to you can stop a lot, but they need to realize that they need to apply some of the same rules as above to themselves
remember that these ignorant people I speak of are not just men but also women. I personally have had more negative interactions with women then men, but luckily only a couple of those ever became violent, mostly just really awkward.
[writers note if you want to get straight to the point I will do an out line at the end of the major points so you can skip the /*rambling*/ if you really want to.]
/*
I always knew that I didn't fit in with societal standards for either gender, but I tried anyway (no I am not going to give yet another TS story). Fast forward to college where I met back up with my now girlfriend of 5 years, we've actually known each other for almost our entire lives but that is beside the point of bringing here up, and about a few months into our relationship I took a human sexuality class. One of the topics that is typically gone over in that class is gender, and the teacher had both sides of the TS spectrum (MTF, FTM) come in to the class, and speak on what it meant for them to be TS. I actually could relate parts of my learning and understanding of life to both of their stories, and so I gently brought the topic up to my girlfriend who actually was quite supportive of me (mainly at the time she said that it was because she was bi- but we both now know a little better then that now) on the topic, as long as I didn't go blindly jumping head first into a major change.
That is when I started doing research on the topic of what it all entailed beyond what the class taught on the topic. I ended up with about a few dozen books directly related to the topic, and few real answers that relate to me directly, as I knew that I still wasn't like many of the stories in the books, and I also felt really offended/disgusted when it came to the concept of changing genitalia. So I did even more reading and stumbled on first a book titled “the lazy crossdresser” and then a blog that is no longer operational http://malebreastenlargement.blogspot.com/ (the link no longer goes there sorry, just siting source) and I realized that I wanted breasts .
But my girlfriend actually convinced me of something that in hindsight was really good advice (based somewhat on the “Harry Benjamin … Standards of Care”, and I wanted her to read on the subject what she felt comfortable with) of 'if you want to grow your own permanent breast then at least spend some time in the world with them to see if people can accept you with them, and to see that it is really what you want.” and it just so happened that we were going to take a post college graduation trip to Oregon to a convention and so I was going to try at that point, and sense I knew that I really didn't want to be a complete women I just got a hold of some breast forms (size B as that is the size that in my mind I would have been happy with) and an appropriate bra for them. When I tried it on at home instead of feeling nervous like I had expected I instead felt almost “whole” inside, but I quickly realized while trying some of my shirts on (I never cared for the skin tight look, and always liked kind of loose fits) that there was no way I could hide the breasts if I ever had that size (surprisingly enough just the next day "Hiding Your Breasts When They Get Big Enough to Notice" was put up on http://malebreastenlargement.blogspot.com/ (again does not exist, but upon request, and assuming that a moderator does not message me other wise I will be willing to post a copy of the article that I have saved on my hard-drive), and went with the jacket (coat) option, but I quickly realized that those that did notice didn't really care. Accept a few that I will apologize to in advance the extremely religious as once they realized that I had a beard shadow and breasts tried to interrogate me on morality of going against god's design a few I told that it was a glandular issue and then seemed to apologize. Others who got really high and mighty I told that “it was my choice and that if god really had an issue with it, it should strike me down here, and now” of course nothing happened and they walked away. At the end of the convention I talked with my girlfriend and asked if that was proof enough but instead she still wanted me to continue trying it out. So when I got back home I was already planning to attend another school and decided that that would be a great place to try out daily breast where, and when I did no one cared either way, and after a year my girlfriend finally said that I could go ahead with starting the herbs.
But, not every one has been accepting of a “male” with breasts right away, if not just not caring at all. Some I have had to talk to for some considerable amount of time to get to understand, and others still think that I am sick/crazy/going through a phase/being forced/need extensive psychological work/and my favorite of all) going straight to hell before death (yes, they went there). Again apologize in advance as not all are as follows, but for the most part I have only ever had “issues” with people over the age of 45, or those razed with hardline religious beliefs I still tell them that “if god really has an issue with it then it will be between me and it when I have to be judged, if god even exists of course”
*/
the facts of TS/TG/CD these are things that I have witnessed first had if not had happen to me and lived:
I will not call it gosspal at all but “Harry Benjamin … Standards of Care” probably had something going when they said try it out first to see if you will be comfortable with it as a permanent thing (while I was researching herbal options, I tried different breast sizes in terms of forms/inserts and found the range of growth that I would be happy attaining and that overshooting a little would be okay too)
do your homework before making drastic permanent changes to your body, and know the side effects before taking anything. (I went through 3 different herbal products before finding one I was not allergic to, and works)
realize that if you need to hide your breast for some reason or another (with for warning of course) know you have options, kinda.
If people figure you out, you better both be ready to defend yourself morally/emotionally/(hopefully not but also)physically
there are ignorant people out there that may try to hurt you if they find out that that person in the dress is actually a man, or that, that guy over there has breasts. In these cases crowds are good if they do not all share the same demographic (if you are surrounded by red-necks and someone figures you out be ready for a fight, and not a fare one either), I am not saying be completely paranoid, but know your escape routs, figure out how many of them you stand a chance against before you “have” to run, and remember just because they are law enforcement they shouldn't but can ignore your pleas for assistance (so know the laws of your area as what constitutes a hate crime because if a law officer does not respond to those words they are to be held more responsible then the perpetrators[at least in the US])
if you can travel in any kind of group even a second person standing near you, and talking to you can stop a lot, but they need to realize that they need to apply some of the same rules as above to themselves
remember that these ignorant people I speak of are not just men but also women. I personally have had more negative interactions with women then men, but luckily only a couple of those ever became violent, mostly just really awkward.