Posts: 140
Threads: 6
Joined: Apr 2024
For those of us who are trans and are at any point in transitioning, what did you decide to do in terms of your employment. Did you come out at work, and stay and transition at your work. Did you decide to leave you job once you could not hide that you were transitioning any further, and then got a new job and from the get go you ensured that they new employer understood you were trans.
Did any of you had to change industries. Like for instance I am a auto mechanic, I feel once I transition that I'd most likely have to go to a different dealership and start fresh, or change industries all together and get into a industry/job that is more trans friendly.
Please share your story and advice if you're ok to. Id like to hear everyone thoughts and suggestions.
I know there are laws that protect people from discrimination and retaliation and harassment but I feel it only goes so far in the real world especially in some industries. I would love to think that I'd be able to transition at my current employer and everything would be okay. That the group of people who have known me for two and a half or even more years as a man would accept me all of a sudden as a woman. Realistically I don't see that happening. Obviously if they want to keep their jobs they would be polite and nice but I know things would definitely be different granted I wouldn't be one of the guys anymore because I wouldn't be a guy anymore but that camaraderie ship and playfulness in the shop would most definitely not be there anymore. I feel people would change around me and act differently almost as if I was or had the plague.
In reality some people would be accepting others would probably refuse to change their ways and thinking and it is what it is. I just feel it would be easier to leave my current job and seek employment elsewhere once I got to a point to where there was no denying or hiding that I was transitioning to be a woman and then start fresh at a new job and made sure they understood that I'm trans in that I identify as a woman.
Posts: 108
Threads: 2
Joined: Nov 2022
Hi CM,
I am only partially out of the closet. I am not out at work. My company has policy to accept everyone, but I am in a remote office that is filled with toxic masculinity and hatred. Women are not treated well in my office and LGBTQ+ would probably get fired. They would find something to use for a reason. Or make someone's life so miserable that they would choose to leave on their own. If I was younger, I would find elsewhere to work. So I keep my mouth shut and mind my own business. When I let my hair grow and started wearing it in a pony tail, some things were said about me that I heard. I could have gone to HR about it, but it isn't worth it. One day I will retire and be free from that toxic mess to live how I want.
~Kay
Posts: 175
Threads: 7
Joined: Jul 2021
Hi Caged,
Sorry for the slow reply, but I've been really busy the last week or so. Give me a few days and I'll get you the list.
Best regards,
ChuckM
Posts: 47
Threads: 3
Joined: Jan 2024
I also work in the auto repair industry, I agree that if I came out that they would make my life hell until I leave even though there are laws against it in my state. For now I'll continue with BO, but if I switch to hrt, I'm sure I won't be able to hide it as easily. It's definitely a tough situation to try to balance work and happiness!
Posts: 1,325
Threads: 41
Joined: Aug 2015
I have been developing female characteristics for about 8 years. I worked as a teacher and as a Security Guard plus a second job in the Law. My school district was welcoming because I was a Special Ed teacher and placed in classes where kids were transitioning and coming out of the closet. My principal was a ftm and understood my issues. Now I have two jobs and my issues seem less of an issues because I am more nonbinary and I fit my job and home when I dress feminine. The most accepting is my Legal work job. My supervisor is a Superior Court Judge and made me a paralegal and a professional plaintiff. Some of the cases are transgender and discrimination so I know the issues well.
Posts: 140
Threads: 6
Joined: Apr 2024
Kay
I'm sorry to hear that about your work situation. I feel the same way to an extent. I am not passionate about my work. It's a job that I can make decent money with, but I don't like what I do. Unfortunately I feel it's too late to start over or go back to school to change industries. How ever I do see more and more girls in the automotive world and even some MTF. Which gives me hope but again I do not like my job or even feel fulfilled with it. I just don't know what I would go into if I ever did change industries. I have done the military thing, security, private contracting, fitness/personal trainer as well as my current job as a mechanic.
Maybe life will be more fulfilling as a woman, not sure what I would do for work tho. Something of more of traditionaly female role or what
ChuckM
Thank you, no rush and no worries. It's all good.
Kelly
I'm glad I'm not the only one. I've seen some girls on social media in the shop. They look like mom and pop shops not larger dealerships but it gives me hope. I have reached out to some of them asking their experiences and or if they changed jobs before during and or after transitioning. Although none of them have responded yet
Billie
That's awesome. It gives me hope that there are some great places to work and people to work with after transitioning. I know my ex was a paralegal (she could have easily been a lawyer if she wanted with how.much experience she had) that's a lot of work. I know she worked for a big firm in Downtown Baltimore when we were together. Not sure what she does now. I'm sure it's in the same field, maybe just not for giant evil corporations lol jk.
Posts: 3
Threads: 0
Joined: May 2024
(13-05-2024, 08:22 PM)CM213Did any of you had to change industries. Like for instance I am a auto mechanic, I feel once I transition that I\d most likely have to go to a different dealership and start fresh, or change industries all together and get into a industry/job that is more trans friendly. Wrote: In reality some people would be accepting others would probably refuse to change their ways and thinking and it is what it is. I just feel it would be easier to leave my current job and seek employment elsewhere once I got to a point to where there was no denying or hiding that I was transitioning to be a woman and then start fresh at a new job and made sure they understood that I'm trans in that I identify as a woman.
This is true for most of us in the automotive world. I think it has a greater affect on how we present, or even to what degree we transition, than any other industry. Of course, if there were more of us mtf techs, then it wouldn't be such a big deal. LOL, we're a group of revolutionaries!
Posts: 375
Threads: 5
Joined: Sep 2020
Would going self-employed be a option?
Basically be your own boss, I'm self-employed so I have don't have zero stress about employers / employees, ok, I'm not transitioning but I am fully feminising my body, paint my nails, wear a mix of men / women styles etc, but granted I will never face the issues that transitioning undoubtedly brings.
There's lots of routes into self-employment - buy a business / franchise, set-up a business doing something you are passionate about, buy/open a retail shop, etc.
Yes, going self-employed needs some capital, but not always a huge amount and it does bring it's own stresses being self-employed, but these may well be far easier to deal with than all the stresses of being employed in a masculine dominated environment.
The reason why I went self-employed was not related to breasts/feminisation etc, it's just something I knew that I need to do at some point, why commit all your blood sweat and tears to line someone else's pocket? Now all my hard graft is all for me and my two kids, which brings an enormous feeling of well being to me.
Not an easy one I know, but hopefully some food for thought.
Good luck.
Posts: 1,325
Threads: 41
Joined: Aug 2015
I do Schedule C work as a small business. I wrote 22 books made hundreds of paintings and now do Legal work. As an artist and writer I feel accepted for my gender and sexual preference. As a legal contractor I am on my own then I help people get involved.
Posts: 38
Threads: 5
Joined: Nov 2023
(14-05-2024, 06:38 PM)Billie Wrote: I have been developing female characteristics for about 8 years. I worked as a teacher and as a Security Guard plus a second job in the Law. My school district was welcoming because I was a Special Ed teacher and placed in classes where kids were transitioning and coming out of the closet. My principal was a ftm and understood my issues. Now I have two jobs and my issues seem less of an issues because I am more nonbinary and I fit my job and home when I dress feminine. The most accepting is my Legal work job. My supervisor is a Superior Court Judge and made me a paralegal and a professional plaintiff. Some of the cases are transgender and discrimination so I know the issues well.
PM sent to you
