Ok, busy weekend (boring stuff), but trying to answer here...
So, Elaine first,
I spent most of my teen years at about 175. Probably like 15-17, say.
Around 18, I was up to 190 or so.
Went to college, lost some weight - the Freshman 15, or whatever? Went in reverse for me. Came back home 160.
That lasted about a year and a half, but then I changed colleges and was living at home. I went up from about 20 years to 25, slowly gaining weight - up to 240. Said F*CK THIS! and joined a gym - I'd seen myself in the mirror. (As an aside, something I hadn't noticed until reading about it in "My Ladybird Story," fiction story on Amazon. Main character there also avoided the mirror; I do, too. And when I must look, like trimming hair or shaving? I don't like who is looking back. It's me, but not "ME.")
Anyway - from 25 - 27, I worked on burning fat & losing weight. I went from 240+/-, probably about 40% body fat, to 180, about 20% BF. Maintained that (sort of) for about 4 years. Then started creeping up again. Now back to 235 (down from 243) and tinkering with the scale/body fat meter can change my body fat %. So I'm probably about 32% body fat right now. With a tendency to Dwarven build, as you can probably tell. (VERY GOOD IN A SPRINT... [puff, puff] Dwarves are.... [puff, puff, gasp]) ;-)
I don't easily gain, in terms of "look at food, gain weight." Also, Irish-Italian background indicates that I can actually tolerate carbs (grains) OK. Not perhaps the BEST food, but I don't have the allergies or the inability to digest and use carbs from grains.
As to avoiding the HFCS, aside from soda, I was doing that most of my life, by accident. But I could go through a 6-pack some days (soda). So... Made up for the avoidance with one high-quantity vice. I've dropped that, and the Bourbon Iced Teas, for the last month. I did try a gin-based martini, I had a mouthful and dumped it. Just CANNOT STAND gin... ;-)
Yesterday I was bad and had a Kit-Kat bar. :-P First time in weeks. (for almost any candy; had Starbucks twice last week, though.)
So getting back on the official diet now... Sunday was shopping day (but didn't make it to Salvation Army for skirts.)
Abi,
I've seen pics of you here, "morbidly obese" doesn't describe you. (Technically, it does me, but read on...)
We have more muscle, and usually quite a higher BMI, than women. And despite our minds, we need to go with the genetics for this.
Flame and Lotus look good; we need to think more along the lines of Cheryl (Cheryl's Breast Talk forum). We're bigger, end of story. I look around, and the porky girls are still WAY smaller than we are. (Makes me envy Lotus and Flame even more... Not just in proportion, and a feminine shape, but also visibly more delicate than even some women... Insert green smiley here.)
So, BMI... toss it. Seriously, it's a basic ratio, and you'll NEVER get close to the female range. Never. You'll have bigger, denser bones, and that'll skew the measurements. You'll do better looking at body fat, and locations of body fat, than worrying about your "weight." Especially now without hormones. I'd suggest ketogenic diet for you too, if you can manage it. If not, look to reduce carbs, and go for filling but cheap stuff, while staying active. Salad (ice berg lettuce) and apples, for instance. I lost weight while eating chicken chili (beans are high carbs) and ramen noodles (all we could afford) with an apple, and a small supper of red meat, every day... But I was actively lifting things (attractive woman...
) during the day. Eating was limited, activity went up, but it was not heavy exercise. I lost weight... But pointwise, Weightwatchers? Probably dietary disaster. (Ramen is like 11 points, I understand.)
We want the Elfen appearance if possible. Male genetics and hormones make for an apple appearance. Belly fat is first stored. Then back, then arms and legs, working outwards.
Losing weight follows the same pattern, usually (not for me, I'm losing from the face and the boobs and the butt, not much from the belly. )
Looked my original measurements:
01-01-2015
Key measures:
Neck: 15.5"
Above breasts: 46"
Nipple line: 49"
Underbreast: 44"
Waist: 40" (Male waist measure)
Hips: 46"
thighs: 24"
Calf: 16.5"
Weight: 233.0
Body Fat %: 37.5%
Height: 5' 9"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
So, I'm currently 230#, 34% body fat. The photos show the body I'm trying to train and then feminize.
Problem is, I seem like I'm looking more male.
Measurements are:
Neck: 16"
Upper arm: 14"
forearm: 12"
Overbreast: 46"
Breasts: 47" (Now I know where the weight loss came from)
Chest (rib cage, underbust): 44"
Waist:
Woman, 3" above navel: 49"
Man, at navel: 46"
Hips: 47"
Thigh: 22.5"
Calf: 16.5"
Height: 5' 8.75" or so. (Probably more like 5'8".)
+++++++
Yeah - I'm not going to win a beauty contest, EVER. Not with those ribs... :-P
As to why I'm looking to limit the estrogen... Costs, and the woman. I've been putting "the talk" off for years already. No, not THAT talk, the OTHER one. She knew I was TG before she moved in... But now there's talk of her daughter returning to live with us. Not OUR daughter, HER daughter. I'm not sure I can manage this bullshit. Not again. And I can't just spring it on her, either. I could solve it with a hammer, but that just doesn't feel right...
I'm not wildly fond of being infertile, either. One of the things I said in the past is, I'm not looking for children. Yet I also feel I'm missing something by not reproducing. But it's kind of hard when the funds are always gone... Can't save, then you can't move out. And she's about to get fired from her latest job, I think. She thinks, too. She won't tell me what she did, but she's so abrasive, the probable cause was a fight with a nurse... The nurse is a bitch, but so is she. Same thing happened with my sister a decade back... (We don't talk any more.)
Look back over your failed relationships. Realize there is only one constant among them all... Yeah, she hates when I mention that. But since we're talking about setting her up with a counselor anyway? Can't hurt to try and get her back on track. At least confirm you must not have a personality of barbwire and broken glass, where each interaction leaves a person feeling like they survived Hellraiser...
A mutual friend suggested she should look into SSDI. Social Security Disability Insurance. Get declared disabled, so you don't have NO income. (and at 54 now... Her odds of getting hired suck anyway.)
Sorry I'm rambling, it's just unbelievable to me that people are so WILLFULLY BLIND. since we're now talking about a new dog...? Yeah, no, not allowing that. I want a dog, too, but no - no more ties that bind.
BTW, low dose is also preferred to let things develop over time. I'd jump to 8 mg/day Progynova, but that's NOT going to solve anything, and could easily make more of a problem.
Just going to keep on for the moment. Working out is helpful, I need to add to my routine ("Computerman" recommendations from T-nation). My mid back is a disaster, and I have more knots than the old sailing ships...
-Dianna