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It feels like an eternity since I've been on here.  I've contemplated posting something for quite sometime, but I never seem to get around to it.  I understand now why some people move on from here and just stop posting ... life ... Life just happens and things change, and you just don't seem to have time to do the things you used to do.

So where do I begin ...

I believe my last update was June of last year, it's been over a year since I've posted any updates.  So much has happened, in the span of a year.  In August of last year I officially got my name and gender marker changed.  It was a very exciting point in my life.  I didn't think something so little could mean so much.  So yup, I am officially Sofia.  The process seemed so quick and easy and before I knew it, it was all done.  I saw the Judge, he reviewed my paperwork asked me a quick question or two, and he signed off on my stuff and it was done.  I quickly went and got my drivers license updated, and then I went and got my social updated the next day.  Shortly after that I got my passport updated too.  Big Grin

The passport came in handy as I went to go and visit my girlfriend at the time in the U.K.  It was pretty cool as I had never been overseas before.  While there I did something I had been wanting to do for a while, I got my nipples re-pierced.  Yup, this bunny has her nips pierced and I think it's sexy!  LOL  I had a fun time being in the UK, it was definitely a whole new experience for me.  I was there for about three weeks.  I didn't do a whole lot of sight seeing, but the places I did go were nice.  Smile

I finally came out at work which was just awesome.  Mostly everyone was super supportive.  It was nice getting all my information at work updated with my new legal name.  I did have an awkward encounter with a coworker and she kind of made things a tad uncomfortable.  Luckily I don't see her very often so I don't have to go through that again.  I noticed that some people kind of just avoid me a bit, I am not sure if they're uncomfortable being around me, or if they just don't know how to act around me.  I am not really sure which it is.  It's interesting as some people completely did not recognize me which was actually pretty nice.  It basically meant I got to start over and there wasn't that awkwardness of ... oh you used to be a boy ... It also meant there was no confusion with my old name and new name.  Again for the most part people were pretty quick and comfortable with calling me by new name so I was very happy.

A week or so before Christmas, my girlfriend at the time decided to break up with me.  It really sucked and it hurt quite a bit.  I suppose that saying of things happen for a reason is true, but I wouldn't know that for a few more weeks.  In my pain I decided to do something I had been wanting to do for a while ... I got two baby bunnies.  So now I am really a momma bunny.  Big Grin They're little stinkers but they're so adorably cute.  It's really impossible to stay mad at them for any mischief they may cause.  I am glad I got them as they bring me much joy and happiness just watching them enjoy life.

Shortly after Christmas I started talking to someone new online.  I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time but one thing lead to another and we started talking more and more.  We video chatted almost nightly till I went to go see her late January.  I ended up staying with her for three weeks and I was really happy.  I enjoyed her company and she seemed to enjoy mine it was amazing.

Sadly my father passed away about mid February.  I had difficulty processing my loss and I was without emotion.  It was the oddest thing as I am usually filled with so much emotion and at the passing of my father, I was void of any emotion.  It took a bit of time but I did eventually grieve my loss.  While he may have not accepted me as his daughter, he never stopped loving me.  He still care about me very much, he just had a lot of difficulty accepting me as his daughter.  I still miss, and can't believe he's gone.  He was only 62 years old.  I am sad he never got to see me fully blossom to the woman that I am becoming, and I am sad that my children will not get to enjoy his presence.

Things were still going well with my new girlfriend, so well that she decided to come live with my.  So end of April she moved from her state all the way down to me.  It was a fun little road trip together.  I am so happy to have her in my life.  She means the world to me and I love her dearly.  She's so caring, understanding, and patient with me.  I really hope I make her as happy as she makes me.  It will be nice to one day be Mrs. and Mrs.  Big Grin

Speaking of Mrs., I am still married.  We've been separated for well over a year.  Would like to get divorced, but that means having money for a lawyer, which currently I really don't have any.  I still have many ups and downs with my spouse.  I was really hoping things would be more amicable, but sadly they are not.  She's still grieving the loss of her husband, and having her whole world turned upside down.  Sometimes it feels like she's taking out her frustrations on me, but I really don't know.

On the plus side, I have two adorable little boys that love their momma Sofia very much.  I have a girlfriend that loves me dearly.  I have my own momma that loves and cares about me deeply.  My coworkers and company that I work for are amazing, so for the most part I am pretty blessed.  I am sure I missed some things here or there, but that's basically a good portion of life events that happened to me over the past year.

Most of the time I am pretty happy with myself.  I love my changes, and love how much I have blossomed into a woman.  I never thought it would be possible.  I still have my downs, I struggle with annoying facial hair still, so it makes it difficult to go anywhere without having to put on some makeup to cover things up.  Hopefully electrolysis will help, but just another thing that costs money.  I have been fairly lucky in that most people gender me correctly.  I don't think I get any odd stares, though sometimes I feel like I do.  Unfortunately it can fuck with me as I don't know if they're checking me out, or if they've figured out I'm trans.  There's really no sure fire way of knowing unless I brazenly go up and ask the person.  For the most part I try and stay oblivious of the people around me.  Some friends of mine will tease me and tell me that this guy or girl is checking me out.  I am doubtful that is true, but they insist that they're not lying.  Who knows, I don't think I am that attractive.  Perhaps a bit on the cute side, but I don't think much more than that.

The biggest thing that's changed with me is my own self-confidence.  It's increased so much over the past year.  I believe it's that self-confidence in myself that has allowed me to pretty much blend in with everyone else.  I can basically be stealth as near as I can tell.  For instance, I was talking to a new psychiatrist today.  This was the second time that I had met with him.  He was confused as to how two women both claimed having our children.  Now mind you the first time I had met him a month ago, I had come out to him.  Apparently I look female enough to him that he doesn't see me as male or trans, he sees me as female.  That's definitely a huge boost to the ole self-confidence.  So I had to remind him that I am trans.  I went to the hospital earlier in the year and I was asked when was my last menstrual cycle and if I was aware if I was pregnant or not because of some tests they were going to run.  That was funny and awkward at the same time.  So just being more confident in myself seems to have helped me a lot.  It seems to keep any negative attention away from me and I believe for the most part people are not aware that I am trans.  Of course now I get to deal with being lesbian, but that's okay.  I don't mind one bit!  

Well, it's a tad bit late for me, so I should go for now.  I still hang around the IRC Chatroom, if anyone cares to drop by and say hi.  If you have any questions, feel free to shoot them to me, or PM me, I am fine with either.  Thanks for reading.  Smile

P.S. Here are a couple of recent pics ...

[attachment=15336]     [attachment=15337]
Wow Sophia 
Certainly cannot blame the guys for checking you out, you loook stunning girl
Good to see you back
X
Julie
it`s lovely to hear from you again! Smile

and I fully understand the whole taking time away from all things Trans so you can get your own head sorted out as a Person, it`s all part of the discovery really, I did the exact same thing myself for a year as well, it`s just something you need to do really.

I must admit, your post made me smile almost the entire way through, as it doesn`t seem like 5 mins ago (and I still have the logs on my fone) since you were trying to convince me that you were Gender-fluid and had no desire at all to fully transition! and I never bought it for a second LOL Big Grin
I guess sometimes it just takes that push to get you past that initial mental block and you`re off like a racehorse, I`m so pleased you`ve finally found You, the REAL You! xx
As Julie gulps 

My view though is with looks like bunny has you cannot help but transition
X

Julie
YEA the Sophie master is back
I think about you often dear and am so glad that the world has turned in your favor.
I hope that someday your wife will accept whats happened, but it will be her huge loss if she doesnt.

So since this is the Breast Nexum, let me be callus and ask how your growing, weight gain/ loss, herbs, Pharma, and all the rest of the good stuff.
Its refreshing to hear someone thats jumped over the fence and kept on running. Good on ya.
Bobbi
and dont be such a stranger!!
Wowsers Sofia,

You have definitely progressed a lot - am still getting a very splintered bottom was sitting on the fence but I think the day is coming when I will just have to jump into the verdant green meadow beyond..... I kind of needed a lot of time to decided whether to proceed or not with things and its a not something you can just decide on the flip of a coin, that and having a few other things going on at work and with family so not been in chat for a while - okay most of the last 4 months!

Glad all is going well for you though and your boys are happy with things.

Megan
Hi Sofia
Good to hear from you again and hear that overall you are doing well. You've been in my thoughts since things seemed to be quite wild in your life last year I am glad things have settled down in your life for the better. Don't be a stranger.
Things certainly have ups and downs, i am glad to see you see you are having more ups, and your life is going wonderfully.
(14-07-2018, 09:32 AM)julieTG Wrote: [ -> ]Wow Sophia 
Certainly cannot blame the guys for checking you out, you loook stunning girl
Good to see you back
X
Julie

Eeeep, I am not so sure I am stunning, but thank you so much Julie.  Smile I suppose the more interesting part in all this, is that it's supposedly guys and girls checking me out.  I guess that's what throws me off.  Am I being checking out, or am I being clocked.  Huh


(14-07-2018, 09:38 AM)Katie Wrote: [ -> ]it`s lovely to hear from you again!  Smile

and I fully understand the whole taking time away from all things Trans so you can get your own head sorted out as a Person, it`s all part of the discovery really, I did the exact same thing myself for a year as well, it`s just something you need to do really.

I must admit, your post made me smile almost the entire way through, as it doesn`t seem like 5 mins ago (and I still have the logs on my fone) since you were trying to convince me that you were Gender-fluid and had no desire at all to fully transition!  and I never bought it for a second LOL  Big Grin
I guess sometimes it just takes that push to get you past that initial mental block and you`re off like a racehorse, I`m so pleased you`ve finally found You, the REAL You! xx

Katie!!!  Yeah, life can get a bit "hare" raising. :p  Sometimes there's not as much time in a day as we'd like.  I think for me at the time genderfluid was what was safe.  I still wasn't sure where I was going with everything, and the idea of flipping back and forth appealed to me as I could have my cake and eat it too.  Unfortunately as I progressed in my journey, that just didn't feel right to me and I had to come to hard decision of whether or not to transition.  I found myself happier and happier as I started becoming the girl I was meant to be.  And the rest is history.  


(14-07-2018, 03:51 PM)julieTG Wrote: [ -> ]As Julie gulps 

My view though is with looks like bunny has you cannot help but transition
X

Julie

Aww Julie, you're too sweet.  Thank you my dear.


(14-07-2018, 05:51 PM)Happyme Wrote: [ -> ]YEA the Sophie master is back
I think about you often dear and am so glad that the world has turned in your favor.
I hope that someday your wife will accept whats happened, but it will be her huge loss if she doesnt.

So since this is the Breast Nexum, let me be callus and ask how your growing, weight gain/ loss, herbs, Pharma, and all the rest of the good stuff.
Its refreshing to hear someone thats jumped over the fence and kept on running. Good on ya.
Bobbi
and dont be such a stranger!!

Bobbi!!!  Thank you so much.  As for my spouse, I don't  think she's having a problem with accepting me.  I believe she's accepted me as female, I think the she's struggling with her losses.  She lost her husband, she feels the kids have lost their father, she lost her marriage, her whole world has been turned upside down.  The struggle is more with her ability to move on as we still see each other because of the kiddos.  So she has a constant reminder of everything she's lost.  When she sees me, she doesn't see who I've become, rather she's reminded of everything she's lost.  I think it's going to take a really long while before she's able to get over that hurdle.


(15-07-2018, 09:22 PM)MeganJ Wrote: [ -> ]Wowsers Sofia,

You have definitely progressed a lot - am still getting a very splintered bottom was sitting on the fence but I think the day is coming when I will just have to jump into the verdant green meadow beyond..... I kind of needed a lot of time to decided whether to proceed or not with things and its a not something you can just decide on the flip of a coin, that and having a few other things going on at work and with family so not been in chat for a while - okay most of the last 4 months!

Glad all is going well for you though and your boys are happy with things.

Megan

Oh my gosh, MEGAN!!!  Wow, you look so much different now in your profile pic, that's amazing!  And yes, things are going well with my boys.  At least regarding my transition, they can be quite a handful.  

No Megan, this is not something that can easily be decided with the flip of a coin, I struggled and flipped back and forth for almost two years.  Then everything just started to fall into place.  The ground work was laid out before me and I took my new path towards becoming the person I was meant to be.  There is little that I regret, luckily the majority is happiness and joy.  Whatever you decide to do, I am sure it will be the right decision for you at that point in time.  You just have to do what you feel is right for you, and time will take care of the rest.  Smile  Best of luck in whatever you decide my dear.


(15-07-2018, 10:55 PM)notquitemale Wrote: [ -> ]Hi Sofia
Good to hear from you again and hear that overall you are doing well. You've been in my thoughts since things seemed to be quite wild in your life last year I am glad things have settled down in your life for the better. Don't be a stranger.

Hey notquitemale, it certainly has been a while since we've chatted, I do hope all is going well with your family.  I'll try not to be too much of a stranger.  For the most part life has settled down enough that I don't feel so overwhelmed.  Hopefully things stay manageable.  Please take care my friend.  Smile


(16-07-2018, 01:02 AM)jannet.duff Wrote: [ -> ]Things certainly have ups and downs, i am glad to see you see you are having more ups, and your life is going wonderfully.

Oh my gosh Jannet!  Hello my dear.  Yes, for the most part life has been a lot more ups than downs, which is most definitely a good thing.  I hope that things for you are going well.  Take care my friend.  Smile
Sofia, displaying her leaping ability, has definitely hopped the fence.  Some peer at her admiringly through the slats, others from atop the rail, and others frolic with her on the other side where her warren lies. 

She has forged ahead and overcome many obstacles.  Aye, she is a lovely and determined one.

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